


Horizon

by xDomino009x



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Awkward Romance, Bullying, Coming Out, Drunk Kissing, F/F, Femslash, High School, Partying, Practice Kissing, Rejection, Romantic Tension, Shore Leave, Spin the Bottle, many OCs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-02-10 17:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2033808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDomino009x/pseuds/xDomino009x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending almost two years away from her home on Horizon, Jacey Shepard has finally returned for an extended shore leave. Suffice to say, some things have changed while she's been away, not all of them good.<br/>The kids she knew when she left are all grown up, and that worries her a little...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok... Sam is 17 and Shepard is 22. I don't think how I'm planning to write this will lead to under-age, but if I head into dangerous waters just tell me so I can tick the box and if the plot takes a turn I'll tick it straight away. I plan to write this over a few years so anything major should come later...  
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy what is sure to be a smut / fluff / angst filled fic!!! :3
> 
> Chapter One has been mostly rewritten, mostly the same happenings but different words, enjoy :)

“Shit!”

 

Up until then it had been quiet. If her three years of training had taught her anything it was that bad things happened when it was too quiet, and the stinging in her palms and knees proved her right. Shepard hadn't intended to curse aloud, but after listening to other marines use fouler language than she’d thought possible for the duration of her time away from home it was almost an instinct. The multitude of swears darting through the irritated parts of her subconscious had suddenly felt too confined and burst free via her lips. Groaning slightly, her heavy rucksack thrown awkwardly across to one shoulder, she rose to her feet, dusted herself off and brush an appraising hand over the shallow cuts on her knees and the heels of her hands. As she set the backpack over both her shoulders correctly she glared down at the skateboard some child had left in the middle of the path.

Horizon was more or less the same as it had been when she had left it - small pathways and dimly lit street corners, shutters closed tight over the shop windows and military standard fencing running the perimeter of the colonial site. It had been the middle of the night when she had left too, all that time ago, fresh faced and determined to do something good with her life. Her time in the Alliance had already changed her, for the better she hoped, and she had achieved great things. Being part of the N7 program wasn't something every marine could boast, but having just passed her N3 training she’d decided that she would continue with the rest of the program and have herself some well-deserved shore leave. Elysium would have been the easier option, being where her last stage of training had taken place, but Horizon was home.

“Hello?” the shadows muttered, the voice timid and definitely female. Shepard listened closely for a moment before bothering to look up from the light smear of blood coating her fingertips. The voice came again, this time accompanied by footsteps. Unarmed and unprepared Shepard glanced around her for a hiding place, a makeshift weapon, anything that would help her fend off whoever was looking to get her this time. The noise of soft footfalls grew louder as a girl came into the faint light of a street lamp some few dozen meters away.

She was maybe in her late teens and shorter than Shepard, and would be even if she hadn't been roaming the streets barefoot. Her amber skin seemed to glow in the pale light and her chocolate eyes danced like sunlight across a river. Shepard frowned, trying to put a name to the face she recognized while a smile spread across full lips. “Are you alright?” the girl asked, cocking her head to the side and crossing her arms over her stomach. Shepard looked her up and down, taking in her thin pajama shirt and shorts, before she shimmied out of her backpack, letting it fall with a thud onto the floor beside her booted feet, and removing her jacket. The girl accepted it, battered as it was, and wrapped the soft leather around herself.

“I'm fine,” Shepard replied quickly, stooping down and hefting the rucksack back over one shoulder with a quiet sigh. The girl nodded in silence. For a while they stood together without speaking, Shepard shifting her weight from foot to foot and fidgeting while the girl studied her intensely. The marine tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible, glancing around at the darkened windows of houses and up and down the streets adjoined to this one. There was no one else around, which was perhaps why the girl’s voice startled her when she spoke again. “Jacey?”

Jacey Shepard blinked at the girl, trying to work out who exactly she was supposed to be talking to, as she nodded at her name. The girl beamed at her, eyes wide and bouncing on the balls of her feet. In her absence a lot had changed, but she should still know who the people of Horizon were, especially when they seemed to remember her. The girl blinked expectantly and then frowned. “I'm Sam, remember me? Sam -”

“Traynor? Little Sammy Traynor? Look at you all grown up!” Shepard smiled back at her and Sam rushed at her, arms outstretched to embrace her. Her arms wrapped around Shepard’s waist as the jacket fell to the ground. Thick locks of dark hair tickled the soldier’s nose and cheeks as Sam almost squealed with excitement. “I missed you Jacey, you’ve been gone so long!”

Shepard stood awkwardly rooted to the spot, unsure what to do. Part of her wanted to throw the girl off her and demand her personal space, but it was true that she had been away for a long time. So instead she put an uneasy arm around her friend’s shoulders and held her for a moment. Sam squirmed and backed away quickly, blushing suddenly. At Shepard’s quizzical look she mumbled, “I don’t use Sammy anymore.” Brows furrowed Shepard looked at the younger girl, who would almost be a young woman - what was she now, 15, 16? She nodded, accepting that Samantha Traynor had indeed grown up since she was last here.

“You’re staying with your mother?” Sam asked as they began walking through the winding back alleys and side streets. Shepard didn't answer, instead she kept her eyes straight ahead and continued walking the streets she still recalled so well. Their silence was tense but Sam refused to just give up and go home. She had become a few things other than older while the marine had been gone, and stubborn was one of them. Her second attempt to break the silence went as well as the first, Shepard still choosing to ignore her rather than start a conversation or even make some small noise of acknowledgement.

“Let me take that, you look exhausted,” she offered as they left the main residential district of the colony and headed out towards the outskirts, where only a few houses and the industrial districts lay. Jacey’s mother had lived here all her life and these houses went back to when the colony had just started up, when the Alliance hadn’t poured enough money into the new project that was Horizon. Sam was pointing to the rucksack on Shepard’s back, and the soldier nodded, shrugging it off her shoulder and handing it to her. “Careful though,” Shepard warned her as she slung it over one shoulder and then hooked the other arm through the second strap, “There’s a grenade in the left pocket.”

Samantha gasped, physically jumping into the air and trying to rid herself of the weighty bag and get away, only managing to wing herself as the backpack hit the back of her ribs. As she coughed and panicked Shepard laughed, her hands on her hips and a wide grin across her face that showed her teeth. “Calm down, Sammy. I’m kidding,” Jacey managed between breaths as she doubled over, seeing Sam’s pale cheeks flush and wide eyes narrow as her gaze fixed angrily on her tormentor. She drew her hand back and made to bring it right across that smirking face. Shepard caught her wrist easily enough and twisted her around, wrapping an arm around the girl and the rucksack as well as she could in an improvised arm lock.

“You can't just say stuff like that!” she shouted, kicking Jacey in the shin with the heel of a foot until she released her. Her cheeks were still flushed and her chest was heaving with deep breaths, but her eyes had softened at least. Samantha still took Shepard’s bag all the way to the door of her mother’s house, but they didn’t speak another word. It made them both uneasy, and Shepard went inside without so much as a thank you or backwards glance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 2 years after first posting this fic gets a second chapter. I hope the wait was worth it, and that the next chapter isn't so far away ;)

Hannah cradled the steaming mug in her hands, blowing gently on the surface of her coffee. On the couch, Jacey lay curled under a blanket. She hadn't heard her girl come in last night, first thing she'd known about her being here was finding the backpack in the hallway and the cushions stolen from the corners of the armchair and shoved into a corner of the couch. She leant down, brushed a few strands of hair from the sleeping woman’s face and sat in the armchair on the other side of the coffee table while she watched her sleep.

It had been a long time since she hadn't been alone in this house. Just after Jacey had left to join the Alliance her husband, John, had also left her. While she’d been taken by her honour and call to action, he’d been taken by illness, a flue that had got the better of his already smoke-damaged lungs. She’d always said his smoking would be the death of him, but she had only been half right. She’d rather not have been right at all.

Jacey was the last of her family now. It was usual for her to go weeks at a time with no contacts, but the suddenly she'd have half a dozen vid calls a week. The schedule the Alliance had her on was erratic at best, and as her mother Hannah couldn't help but worry when the messages stopped. What if this time she’d been caught up in another Mindoir. She didn't like to think about it, but she’d seen more than enough in the years while she’d served in the Alliance. The things that could happen to soldiers… it made her feel ill, thinking about that happening to her child.

“Good morning, mum.” Hannah looked up to see her daughter looking, unfocused, towards her through bleary eyes. She had sleep sticking to her eyelashes and creases embossed in her cheek from the mound of cushions she’d slept on. Jacey kicked the blankets off herself and moved slowly to pick them up. Hannah only realized now she had fallen asleep in her blue Alliance fatigues, only taking her boots off before laying down. It must have been a long ride home, or she’d gotten back late at night. Honestly, she hadn't expected to see her home until tomorrow.

Hannah smiled before taking another sip of the still too warm coffee. “You sleep alright?” The soldier shrugged as she pushed herself into a sitting position, rolling her shoulders and stretching as she tried to get comfortable. It had been a while since she’d been sitting in such a plush seat. The Alliance did not factor in comfort when they designed mess halls on active spacecraft. “I think a bed might be nice next time,” she replied, laughing. If she was going to have to get used to this luxury she may as well go all out.

“Your room is ready for you, you could have used it,” her mother said, nodding down the hallway towards the two bedrooms and the bathroom where she’d left the new toiletries she brought a few days ago. She suspected Jacey had her own already, but it was better to buy new ones, maybe in the hopes they would be used more regularly than the last ones.

Looking down the hall Jacey pulled a face. She hadn't used that room since she was eighteen, it felt odd thinking about using it again now. She hadn't been home in so long, and when she had it had only been for one night. No point messing up clean sheets and a clean bed just for that. But this time she was back for… she didn't really know how long. She’d been promised two weeks at the least, but if she wasn't needed for some time after that she could be home for a while. She wasn't sure she could deal without her usual training regime or her SO barking commands at her every day, morning and night. But she was sure her mother could fill in that role. “Yeah,” she agreed with a nod, “I just didn't want to wake you up.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Jacey working the stiffness out of her joints while her mother continued to drink her coffee. It was strange. When she was away they had so much to talk about, what they’d been up to in the last few days, anyone interesting Jacey had met on her missions, whether she’d finally met someone - the answer was always a resounding no - but now she was here in person they seemed to have nothing to say to each other.

Breaking the silence Hannah asked her if she’d like anything to eat or drink.

Breakfast was served about half an hour later, the ‘something small’ Jacey had asked for ending up as a full fry up with copious amounts of tea. She didn't drink coffee, it gave her headaches. Once she had finished one plate full of food her mother made her another. They had both suffered the Alliance rations and a diet made up more of protein bars than actual food, and each time she protested and said her mother didn't need to wait on her Hannah would point out that she looked thinner than the last time they’d spoken, too thin. Jacey didn't even bother to mention that the difficulty and duration of her fitness regime had just been increased.

Her mother didn't eat anything, instead she just sat and watched as Jacey finished her meal and the girl put her knife and fork down, refusing to eat any more. Excuses of keeping an eye on her calorie intake and general ability to perform her daily regime - one she should really keep up with even on her shore leave - were met with deaf ears, but Hannah seemed tired of cooking and happy to just enjoy her daughter’s company with a new cup of coffee.

“Any plans today?” she asked, as Jacey finished her third, maybe fourth cup of tea. Shaking her head Jacey fished the teabag from the mug and set it on her plate with the other, she counted, three. “I just got here, I don’t even know my way around anymore.” She recalled being shown the way to her own home, through the mess that was the new section of the colony, by Samantha last night and thought for a moment. Maybe she could make some plans. Catch up with Sam, see the new sights and find someplace she could try to do her morning workout. With the amount of furniture her mother had acquired she wouldn't be doing them at home.

“Actually, I might see if Sammy’s free.” Hannah looked up at that, giving her a curious look. Jacey stared back. “What?” Her mother didn't reply right away, just shook her head and took another drink of her coffee. “She was so excited about you coming home,” she explained, looking fondly at her daughter.

Jacey had always been incredibly close to the kids on Horizon. She was a people person, good at making friends and probably allies now she was in the Alliance. It was no wonder she spent most nights with her teammates and the ship’s crews instead of alone reading or writing.

That was what Hannah had used to do. It was evident she wasn't as good with other humans as she was with machines.

It was settled easily enough. Hannah called Samantha and asked her to come round for 10:00 GST, then Jacey would get her tour and meet up with her again for a late lunch - considering how much breakfast she’d had - around 13:00. While Jacey got changed and washed, Hannah welcomed Samantha in and offered her a drink. In her room, the walls still painted the same pastel pink but the bed made without the princess bedding she’d demanded as a child and continued using as a teenager, Jacey stared at her ordinary clothes laying on the bed. It was another weird feeling to think that she’d be out of her fatigues for at least the next two weeks. Now she would have to think about what to wear and what other people would think when they saw her. She’d keep her hat though - she’d become rather fond of the navy blue beret.

“You ready Sammy?” Jacey asked, grabbing the girl’s shoulders and making her squeal in surprise. Samantha slapped her hands away once she had recovered and rose to her feet, thanking Hannah for the drink and taking the glass over to the sink. Jacey wondered how often Sam had been round that she was calling her mother Hannah and taking her own used glass to the sink without any protests.

 

\- X -

 

“Well that's about it,” Samantha said with a smile as she concluded the tour. Not much had changed, like she'd said, but Jacey still appreciated being shown around. The school had been renovated since she was there and a new sports complex had been built just outside the center of the colony. The shops had changed hands and the names had changed, houses had been added. But it was still the sane colony, with a population of over 2,000 instead of just shy of 100 and expecting more in the coming years.

Jacey nodded in silence and looked out from the top of the hill Sam had dragged her up. From here they could see the whole colony, the residential and industrial districts and ask the way to where Shepard’s mother lived on the outskirts. It was a lovely view.

“Okay what's the deal?” Sam demanded, chiming to stand suddenly in front of her with her hands on her hips and her brow furrowed in a scowl, “You've not said anything to me since we left your mother's.”

Jacey shrugged and looked past her head towards the colony again. It was nothing special, she had seen dozens of others like it on missions with the Alliance, inhabited by different races. Sine she'd seen through the distorting visor of a breather mask but they were all the same really. Horizon was like any other rock that had become home to thousands. It didn't feel like home after so long in space.

And that's exactly what she told Samantha who continued glaring at her until she had her answer.

Sam nodded but didn't move. Instead she hesitated then lunged forwards and hugged Jacey around the waist. “Well you're home now soldier,” she muttered into Shepard’s shoulder, “Better get used to it.” Jacey laughed and pulled Samantha against her, getting a small squeak of surprise from her as she did. “I'll try,” she promised.

Samantha was glad the soldier couldn't see her blushing.


	3. Chapter 3

She’d been spending all her time between home and the gym for the last few weeks. Her mother asked her if she was avoiding someone – she hadn’t met up with many of her old friends since being back, which was supposed to be half the point of her visit. The truth was, maybe she had been trying to stay away from the people she’d spent her teenage years gossiping and playing with. They didn’t really know her anymore, and she didn’t really know them either. Tommy and Lana, prom king and queen, were married with twins, Paris had joined a women’s biotiball team from Terra Nova after being the school's star athlete her whole time there. And she’d heard about an accident that had claimed the life of a kid she’d hardly known. The colony had changed since she was here last, years ago.

And here she was again, duffle bag slung over her shoulder and a half empty water bottle in one hand, on her way home from her afternoon routine. It was refreshing to have fresh air on her face after a workout instead of the stuffy, circulated air of some ship or station.

“Hey, Jacey! Where you goin’ girl?” Jacey stopped and turned towards the voice with a smile, already accepting the hug without question. The familiar call had taken her back to high school for a moment, just long enough for her to forget what time had passed. The smell of baby food under the cigarette smoke brought her back to the present. Their hug was cut short.

Tugging the duffle bag back onto her shoulder Jacey glanced away, looked back with a smile and shrugged. “Long time no see, Lana.”

The woman drew back offended, crossing her arms over her exposed stomach. she had traded the curves that caught the attention of half the school sports team for stretch marks. “That’s all I get? Three years, no vid calls, you come back to a usurped queen with two princesses to feed and its ‘long time no see’?” Stretch marks and two daughters. If Shepard still knew Lana, the woman was loving every minute of her children, and her new reasons to complain. Tommy though, she had never seen him as the fatherly love type.

With a sigh Jacey hung her head. “Well, I don’t…” She looked up, shrugging, hands shoved into the pockets of her sweatpants, “Look, I’m sorry. It’s strange, being back here you know. Everything changed, everyone’s different.” She sounded like a kid, moaning that school wasn’t any fun after the summer break.

For a while they were both silent, not holding eye contact for long and looking around them instead. Lana moved to sit cross legged on the grass by the side of the path, patting her hand on the ground beside her so Jacey would take a seat too.

“You hear about Jamie?” she asked, tugging blades of grass from the dirt. Jacey watched her do it, and nodded, “Yeah… poor kid.” She couldn’t believe she had been gone so long one of her classmates had passed on. “What happened? All I’ve heard is a lot of rumours.”

Lana sighed, shaking her head and falling back onto her elbows in the grass. She didn’t look at Jacey as she replied, her voice bitter, “You heard the guys sayin’ he was high? That kid never touched nothing, y’hear me.” Shepard remembered a teenager who was in trouble more often than he wasn’t, for drugs, drinking, skipping classes. Whatever rules he could break he broke, at least ten of them on his first day apparently. She hadn’t seen it, as a transfer student from Mindoir, but she’d heard all the awestruck stories. “He was clean,” Lana continued, sadly, “got real pretty after school ended. Just one slip at the factory and that was that, he was gone.”

They sat in a familiar silence, listening to the wind wrap around the buildings and rustle the grass around them. Jacey wished she could feel more than just a vague apathy towards what had happened to Jamie, but she hardly knew the guy. She hadn’t been here when it happened, she hadn’t seen the shock of a life taken from a growing colony too soon. She frowned at the colony in general and then looked to Lana, “He has a memorial around right?”

“Yeah,” Lana muttered, not meeting her gaze, “over by the school. We could go if you wanted?” Her offer was hopeful, and Shepard hated to turn her down but she didn't much feel like visiting anywhere that would remind her of her time before leaving for the Alliance. Being at the colony was hard enough even with all the changes the years had seen made. She shook her head sadly, “Another time maybe.”

Lana’s face fell, “Sure.” 

The same silence fell over them again, this time somewhat less comfortable. Jacey was about to apologise but she’s barely opened her mouth when Lana piped up again, suddenly much more excited than a few moments before, “Oh, Anthony’s gonna throw one of his parties for ya. You’ll come right?”

“I don’t know Lana, Anthony still selling?”

“Sure he is,” Lana left a considerable pause, giving Jacey time to pull an incredulous look onto her face which turned into a scowl, before she continued, “but it’s legit now.” Apparently Anthony, the guy a few years ahead of her in school, had buckled down to studies after being sent away to a juvenile delinquents camp back on Earth. When she’d known him he’d been selling whatever cheap drugs he could get his hands on from his father’s store and the colony infirmary. Thievery, dealing, violent outbursts… he’d been lucky to just spend a few years away from home and come back with a prescription for medication, according to Lana at least.

Jacey nodded and smiled at her. “I’ll think about it.” It would be nice to reconnect with some of the others she’d grown up with if she could.

\- X -

The music reverberated through the night air, a loud steady beat that thumped through the ground and in the chests of the dancers and wanderers in the back garden of Anthony’s home. During their school days he had been known for his house parties, as well as his other less agreeable qualities, and now was no different. It was just like being back in high school, only now Lana was checking the clock on her omnitool every few minutes instead of dancing the night away and Tommy was nowhere to be seen - working late and then taking over from the babysitter to look after their girls. Anthony manned the DJ booth alone, instead of asking Jamie to take over while he weaved through the crowds offering shady glances and secretly handing out packets of various coloured powders.

Some things had stayed the same though. The same rule applied as had used to - there were no rules. Although now breakages were met with shocked gasps by the people that heard the smash of glass on the tiled floors instead of a cheer and a yell that it ‘isn’t a real party until something gets broken’ and those who had been in the youngest years of school when Jacey attended were now mingling with the others as though they belonged there.

The night had already dragged on towards midnight by the time the fun and games began to start, as it always had. Jacey wondered how much of this party had really stayed the same and how much was being thrown together just for her. To remind her of what it was like a few years ago, when she’d been in the same position as some of the other school kids here - not old enough to drink but enough to get unwanted attention from drunken partygoers.

At least this night at least she hadn't seen anyone getting outrageously wasted without being sent home. It was a pleasant surprise.

“Come on Jacey, just join in! For old times sake!” It was the third time Lana had asked her to join in with spin the bottle. There was already a circle growing on the floor with a glass bottle in the centre. Anthony held it still, looking up at them hopefully. Lana beamed and begged until Jacey threw up her hands and grinned, taking a spot on the floor beside her friend to a round of applause and a huge cheer from the crowds.

It was awkward, sitting back here again. The thrill of the game remained, although the excitement that her crush might kiss her had faded somewhat. Mostly due to her days of schoolgirl crushes being far behind her.

But she could see the same eager looks on some of the faces around her, the same flicker of eyes towards a certain person or the hopefulness as some cute guy or girl grabbed the bottle and span it hard in the centre of the ring. She watched as some faces lit up and then tried to straighten out, as others tried to mask their disappointment. There were a few disinterested faces, and a few who looked like they might receive their first kiss tonight. It had been the same with her about five years ago, when she’d span and landed on the host himself. She didn't think he was anything special now, but at the time it had been a different story. She’d quite enjoyed being the envy of half the girls in her year that night.

“Your turn!” Lana shouted over the music, shoving the bottle into Shepard’s hand with a giggle. Her cheeks were flushed and by now she’d stopped checking the time. A few drinks were all it took for Lana to forget what the most important things were, but she’d insisted before that she didn’t have to be home now Tommy had the twins and Jacey had left it at that.

With a sigh and a very over-performed roll of her eyes, Jacey leant into the middle of the circle and span the bottle, watching the light reflecting off the silvery label until it came to a stop. There was a raucous applause as Anthony grinned tipsily and leant towards her. “This seems familiar!” He spoke the words for her only, and then planted a very brief kiss on her cheek. It was met with a series of boos and hisses from the circle. With a shrug the two met in the middle again and their lips touched, only for a second, but it seemed to satisfy the masses.

Then the bottle was sent on again and Jacey went to grab herself and Lana a drink - a weak one for Lana.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been gone for when she returned to the ring, but it had grown even larger by the time she returned, with some of the younger partiers joining in. She sighed, and hoped that everyone would keep this PG for those few still in their school years. Samantha and a few of her friends had joined, the girl waving to her as she took her seat back beside Lana and handed over the second cup.

Lana shuffled closer and sniffed at Jacey’s drink. “How many shots?” she asked, surprised with how strong it smelled. Jacey just laughed and hugged her. Alcohol brought down even the tallest of walls, and Shepard knew she hadn't had that many tonight but it was still the excuse she would give. Honestly though, she was tired of trying to shut these people out, who were doing so much to welcome her back for however long she was here. They were her friends and she needed to start treating them like it.

A squeal came from one of the younger girls as she spun the bottle and landed on Lana, who took a moment to move forwards and then kissed the girl on the cheek. “SHe’s a kid and I’m married!” Lana shouted into the crowd as they jeered, but they seemed happy enough with her excuse.

Samantha sighed as it got to her and scanned around the party. Jacey chuckled to herself, wondering who she was looking for. Her dark eyes didn't land on anyone in particular, but she moved into the middle anyway and gave the bottle a good spin. “I’m gonna go grab another drink!” Jacey muttered to Lana, leaning over so she could be heard. But Lana wasn't listening, she was too busy laughing and trying to direct the soldier’s attention to the bottle. 

The neck of the bottle was pointing at her.

Sam was waiting awkwardly in the centre of the circle, her face hopeful. Jacey felt her heart hammer in her chest a few times as the circle around her waited for her to make a move. She made her move, to her feet and then away from the circle. There was silence as she left, aside from the click of heels as Lana followed her.

She didn't stop until she reached the drinks table and poured herself some kind of drink into a mixer, throwing half of it back in one go and heading towards the door.

“Jacey!”

She didn't stop, just continued walking out into the night. She needed some air, she needed more drink, and she’d only get that outside and probably at home. Preferably alone. Lana caught up with her on the porch of Anthony’s house, grabbing her arm and tugging her to a stop. “What was that for? You’ve just embarrassed her in front of everyone, I thought you were friends?”

“We are friends, but that doesn't mean I’m going to kiss her! She’s seventeen, she’s not even finished her last year of high school Lana!” They were still shouting even outside, the music still ringing in their ears. It wasn't like anyone would hear them over the bass coming from inside.

Lana sighed as she pushed two bottles into Jacey’s hands and took the plastic cup from her, “That didn't mean you had to walk out like that. You should apologise.” she sounded so much like a parent scolding a child, and they both knew it. But for Jacey it was just patronising instead of helpful.

“Tomorrow maybe. Goodnight Lana.” With that she walked away home, leaving Lana outside alone.

\- X -

She sighed and dropped the bottle down by the side of her chair, glad her mother was asleep. It clattered against the other one she’d already left there. In the morning she’d have to explain them away, but she was sure she could manage somehow. After her father’s problems there had been a strict no alcohol rule in the Shepard household, but it hadn’t stopped Jacey from exploring the different drinks on offer at various parties and friends’ houses. And since her time in the Alliance she’d taken to carrying around a small hip flask to share with her comrades or whoever she was with before a mission.

She was ready to head to her room when the knock rang through the room. Slightly unsteady on her feet she stood up, taking a moment to adjust herself before she walked over to see who it was. Probably Lana again coming to check up on her. Well she was perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Sam pushed her way into the living room as soon as the door was opened, her eyes red and watery as though she had been crying. The sight seemed to sober Shepard up a little, and she pulled herself up as she stepped back to let her in. 

“Why did you do that?” Sam asked, angrily with a few more tears falling from her lashes. Jacey looked at her for a moment before she opened her mouth to reply. Sam didn't let her, moved further into the room and turned around with her eyes closed, “I thought we were friends, I thought you cared about me! Is kissing me really that awful an idea?”

Shepard fell into her seat again and fished around for one of the bottles. Finding one she remembered that both were empty, or she would have offered one to Samantha. That had probably been Lana’s idea in giving her two anyway. “Is that what you wanted?” she asked, reaching forwards to hold Samantha’s hands in front of her, “Me to kiss you in front of everyone?”

“What if it was?”

Shepard didn't know what gave her the idea, but with a quick tug she pulled Sam over to her and down, grabbing her roughly behind her neck and bringing their lips together. She could taste the vodka and coke on Sam’s lips, feel its effects in her fingers as they wound into her hair. The transition wasn’t seamless, but they hardly noticed as Samantha settled into Shepard’s lap and ran her tongue over her lips. Shepard pulled her closer, moving so she could kiss along her jaw and her neck. Her teeth would leave some kind of mark, how big or noticeable she couldn’t tell.

It was at the small moan that escaped her that Sam realised what she was doing, and she jumped back, away from Shepard and out of her arms. Jacey frowned and stared at her as she ran fingers through her hair, seemingly more frustrated than she had been when she arrived.

“I… I need to go,” she muttered to herself more than anyone, and slipped out the door before Jacey could say anything to stop her.


	4. Chapter 4

Samantha hadn't tried to see Jacey for at least a week, which she was surprised by to be honest. She’d been so excited about Jacey returning before now. But now, after the party and the disaster it turned out to be, she wasn't so sure she should want to spend more time with her. Part of her was glad she’d come to this decision. But there was a part of her that regretted losing a friend.

She sighed, alone in her room, and rolled onto her back under the covers. It was hard not to think about Jacey though really. She was something of a hero to the people of Horizon, the kids she’d gone through school with looked up to her.

But she’d kissed her under the influence of too many drinks, and Sam didn't know how to feel about that.

She had found her mind wandering to it a lot over the last few days. The day after she’d spent sleeping off a hangover that she’d managed to work up when she’d returned to the party. The day after that she’d spent sulking in her room grounded by her parents for staying out so late and drinking so much. But then after those two days she’d had all the time in the world to think about Shepard and make up her mind.

But that didn't stop the confusion. Sure, she’d had a few boyfriends while she’d been at school. It was something of a mark of status in high school, how many boys asked you out or took you on dates. Who asked you to prom was very important too, maybe even more important. But they’d never been any fun, just friends she maybe spent more time with and kissed occasionally.

Jacey though, well that had felt different. She didn't care how cliche it was, she could at least admit it to herself that maybe there was something to learn from that one kiss.

There was a knock on the door and a voice came through to her. “Sammy?”

She sat up straight and smoothed out her clothes. She knew that voice, how could she not. She’d just been hoping that maybe Jacey would take the hint and not come to see her. The sudden cut off of communication between the two of them must not have been clear enough.

“Why are you here?” she asked, fully aware she must sound like a child right now. Something had changed in their dynamic and she didn't like it, so here she was feeling sorry for herself. Jacey frowned a little but still opened the door slowly. Samantha let her, and then stared at her while she waited for an answer.

It took a few moments for Jacey to get through the door and adjust herself to the way Samantha’s room had changed in the years she’d been gone.

Before she’d left the furniture had been bright pinks and purples, all styled like a fairytale princess’ aesthetic. A four poster bed had dominated the room and left little space for anything else. Now though, the bed was tucked away in a corner of the room, just metal frame and a mattress, and the walls were lined with shelves full of books and small projects the girl had been tinkering with. The chest of drawers was just plain wood, as well as the dressing table. It was like a real teenager’s room now.

“I wanted to make sure you’re alright. Haven't seen you since the party.”

Sam shrugged and looked away from the soldier. She hadn't even acknowledged what had happened after the party, but then what did she expect really. Jacey had been drunk and they’d both been stupid but she’d still expected her to at least say something about it. Maybe she was still being stupid.

She didn't really want to have a conversations right now, not with Jacey at least, but she replied anyway. She wasn't great but she’d just been keeping busy to work through her being grounded. “I’m surprised my dad let you in.”

“He didn’t want to, your mum convinced him though.”

Samantha laughed. Jacey was glad to see her smiling, even if it was just for a moment. They sat in silence for a while. It was awkward with just the two of them in her room. Sam would much rather have been sitting in her room alone, continuing to stew on what had happened and what it meant for her and whatever friendship she had with Jacey.

Jacey shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry, Sammy.” She sounded sad and distant, so quiet too. Samantha looked up from the spot on the floor she’d taken to staring at. Of all the things she’d expected Jacey to do, apologise was not high on the list. Really she wasn't sure there was anything wrong with what had happened besides it shocking her, but maybe she was just being foolish.

“It’s okay.” It was a weak reply.

Jacey shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. “No it’s not.” She took a seat on the edge of Samantha’s bed beside the girl, looking at her and frowning. “I’m older than you, I should be more responsible. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

“I don’t mind!” Sam hadn’t meant to shout, but she was glad she did. Jacey stopped looking so nervous and disappointed in herself and gave her a moment to speak. “I don’t, honestly. It happened and it was a mistake. They happen.” She liked to think she was being mature and grown up about it, she was pretty sure that’s how it worked. Jacey smiled and nodded.

Sam didn’t ask her to leave like she’d planned to, instead she asked her to stay for a while. They spoke about nothing in particular, just idle gossip and jokes. Sam told her about how things had been for her in the last few years, and Jacey actually seemed to take an interest this time.

It got late quickly. It didn’t seem that long, but when Samantha’s dad came up the stairs to ask Jacey to leave - Sam was still grounded after all - it was getting dark outside. The street lights had come on to light the way home for Shepard.

Their goodbye was a little awkward, after their last goodbye a week ago. They got through it with a hug that didn’t last long enough to be comfortable. Samantha’s dad led Jacey out of the house, and the girl waved from her window as she watched her friend leave. She was glad they could still sit and talk, even though it had been awkward at the start and finish.

\- x -

School the next day was a welcome release from her grounding. Samantha ran through the gates, late again, and into her class just in time to catch her name in the register and slip into her seat. Behind her one of her friend’s poked her in the shoulder blade, but she ignored it pointedly as the teacher came by.

The lesson was a blur. History always was for her. She wasn't very good at absorbing the details of what she was being told when it came to the written subjects, but when it was a lesson she could learn with her hands she was great at picking it up. The bell rang and then it was time for a break. School on Horizon was different to school on Earth. She’d been to one of those for a while, but here she only studies a few lessons a day but for longer times. It worked well for her, but she was sure it wasn't for everyone.

“Go on, do it!”

The shout came from behind her, accompanied by some footsteps as someone was shoved towards her. She hadn't seen him much before now, but they’d been talking a lot at the party. Dylan maybe? She’d had a lot to drink that night.

He looked at her nervously and laughed, looking back at his friends for support and encouragement. “So, er… I was wondering.” He paused while someone heckled him from the back of a small crowd that was building. “Do you… wanna go out with me maybe?” He was adorably nervous.

Sam didn't really know how to respond. They’d only been talking for a few hours, and now… she supposed he might have thought she was interesting before talking to her.

She hated to turn him down in front of everyone, but that's what she did. She made an excuse, she just wasn't interested in dating now, but it didn't make seeing his disappointed expression any better.

“Why did you turn him down? He’s cute.” Sam sighed and turned to her friend group with a smile. She really didn't want to explain herself to them, but she did all the same.

“Like I said, i’m just not interested in dating.”

She appreciated their acceptance of that, even though she’d been talking about dating with them just a few weeks ago. She just found she wasn't that interested in boys anymore. Not until she worked everything out. She still had a lot of figuring out to do, it might be a while before anyone got lucky with her.

The rest of the day blew by in a daze of jokes and insults. Apparently rejecting Dylan had been a mistake that would damage her social life, but she had done it for the right reasons. She owed it to herself to be sure about it first, and she would have owed it to him if he hadn't turned out to be an awful person in the end. At some points Samantha felt like crying, but she had her own friends who had her back. Even if they didn't know the real reasons why she’d turned him down, they still knew they were her friend and she needed them.

When it got to hometime she left as quickly as she could, to a chorus of chanting. Nothing that was said was good, all of it was directed at her. She wanted to run home and cry, but she didn't. Instead she walked slowly through the gates and along the roads home.

By the time she made it to her front door she’d heard more insults than she thought existed. Some she made a note of so she could use them in future. As soon as the door closed she dropped her bag and ran up to her room. The door slammed behind her as she swung it shut and went to lay on her bed with the duvet over her head.

\- x -

Jacey was greeted at the door by both of Samantha’s parents. The Traynors both sported worried faces and they welcomed her inside with a hug. It had been a long time since she’d really spoke to them, but they still remembered how close she and Sam had been before she left to join the Alliance. They directed her upstairs to where their daughter had been crying and refusing to talk to them for hours.

Shepard was surprised she had been the first one they’d called, but then the two of them had spent the last evening together.

She knocked on Samantha’s door and let herself in. a muffled “Go away,” reached her from beneath the covers. Jacey sighed and sat down on the bed, resting her hand where she imagined Samantha’s shoulder was. “Sammy, come on. Talk to me.”

Samantha repeated her request for Jacey to leave her alone, but the soldier didn't go anywhere. She wasn’t about to go anywhere while Samantha was upset. “Tell me what’s up Sammy. Your friends said some of the boys at school were being dicks.”

Sam freed herself from the covers enough so she could see Jacey. She was still wearing her school uniform. Her eyes were still a little red from crying, her hair was messier than usual after being under the covers and being against the pillows. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Well then I’m gonna be here a long time, cos I’m not going until you do.” She pulled up the messenger on her omnitool and sent e short message to her mother to prove the point, saying she might be home late from the gym. Samantha watched her do it, and a smile tugged the corner of her lips. She sighed as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“One of the boys asked me out today,” Samantha explained, “His friends made fun of me. It’s silly, but it hurt.” Suddenly she felt very stupid for being so upset, but that wasn't all that was bothering her. She knew that. Jacey did not. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in for a hug, telling her everything would be alright. Sam believed her, she knew it would. Give it a week and all the name calling would have stopped, but it didn't mean the conflict inside her would have faded away too. She didn't know who she could talk to about that. Not her friends, not her parents - what if they didn't understand it?

“Why would they start making fun of you when he asked you out?”

Samantha laughed, “Because I said no.” They both chuckled, Samantha held onto Jacey tighter as they made themselves comfortable on the bed. It had been difficult to get into a decent place with Sam’s legs under the covers, but now she moved Shepard could finally sit with her back against the wall. Sam lay back with her head in Jacey’s lap. Jacey tapped her fingers against Samantha’s forehead until she grew bored and Sam scowled up at her.

Jacey was very relaxed here, just spending time with Samantha again. “So why did you turn him down?” she asked, offhandedly, “Is he not pretty enough?” 

She was teasing, obviously, but Samantha shrugged and glanced away from her for a moment before she answered. “I just don’t know if I’m interested.”

“In dating? I get you.”

Sam moved so she could prop herself up on her elbows and leaned in as close as she could. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked in a whisper. Jacey moved closer as she nodded. She was glad Sam felt she could confide in her. “I don’t think I’m interested in boys.” when she moved away her expression was blank, as though she didn't want to betray any of the thoughts in her mind before Jacey had reacted. But Sam was terrified.

Jacey didn't say anything for a while. She looked like she was thinking. Then she shrugged, “Okay.” That was it, just an ‘okay’ that made Sam feel so relieved. She went on to explain she still wasn't sure, she didn't really know what was going through her head about it and then Jacey asked the killer question.

“How did you know?”

Sam froze slightly, unsure how to answer. She knew the truth, she knew where she could draw the line between her being sure she knew what she wanted and now, where she wasn’t sure at all. Jacey sighed and hung her head back. She’d worked it out. There was a very tense silence between them. They’d had one like it yesterday, but this was different. This was almost like some kind of confession that Sam would rather not have made.

Jacey looked down at her, frowning. It wasn't what Sam had wanted to see. A hand was on her cheek, brushing hair out of her face. Jacey’s eyes were softening as her face straightened out and a small smile appeared on her lips.

Samantha sat up quickly, not sure what to make of what was happening. Jacey chewed on her lower lip for a moment before bringing her hand back to cup Sam’s cheek and move her closer. “Would this help you figure it out?”

Samantha nodded, edging closer.

Their lips touched for little more than a heartbeat at first. They waited before moving together again. This time it lasted much longer.

Sam enjoyed it, she couldn't lie about it. Especially as she moved closer and let Jacey run her tongue against her lips and tongue. Jacey chuckled as she pulled away from Sam’s mouth and moved to her neck, down to the collar of her shirt. She did nothing but kiss, worried what would happen if she left a mark above the skin covered by her uniform. 

Sam pushed her away. “Let me do that.”

She moved to straddle Jacey and rested her hands on her shoulders. She’d never done this before, but there was a first time for everyone and it may as well be now with someone she trusted. Jacey leaned back against the wall and pulled her close again. Samantha had read books where kissing was described as a duel or a dance, but both were over exaggerating. They were just two people, sharing a moment in time. 

It felt weird to kiss Jacey along her jaw and neck. She had kissed on the lips before, but this was something different. She liked the way the soldier leaned into her touch and how her lips parted for a sharp intake of breath when she coupled kissing her collarbone and pulling her hair. Knowing that she was the one making Jacey react like this, instead of the other way around, made her feel good. It was a kind of power she’d never felt before, and she was reluctant to give it up as Jacey gently pushed her away.

“I should go.” Jacey stood up, not looking at Samantha as she walked to the door, “I hope that helped.”

**Sam watched her leave, not sure what else she could do. **

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think :)
> 
> This is a wip and might be slow cos there are other fics on the go (I'm not good with commitment) and life gets in the way. Apologies in advance


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